The first Betrayal

There is a fine line in friendships.  A line that people do not always want to think about or even dare to cross, though it will always be there.  That line is the line between being true friends or if the person you’re trusting could betray you.  As a friend, you’re giving trust to those who you call friend.  How do you know who you can trust though?

Hard question to ask, when you’re thinking about friends.  Though it’s one I ask of anyone who enters my life as a friend.   I use to let friends come back and say sorry really easy.  Though after years of abuse from people who I wanted to be my friend, I’ve had to start to watch my back, too.  Here’s the story of the first friend that made it harder to trust people who’ve hurt me.

In respect towards the name we took in First Grade, I will nickname her “Hugs”.  Hugs was a few weeks younger than me.  We met on my first day of kindergarten.  She became what I thought was my best friend.  We lived very close to each other.  It was perfect for a childhood friendship.  Her family got along with my family.  She would hang out with me at lunch and recess.  We liked the same things.  She was my one friend and I thought that could not be changed.  Someone who would stand by my side, even when the others were being mean.  Though I was hoping for too much from her.

During second grade, Hugs was put into another class from me.  I barely saw her that year.  Once third grade rolled around, she was different.  Now she cared what the other kids thought of her and she started to be two-faced with me. One minute she was the same friend I knew all those years, then next minute she no longer wanted to be my friend.  She was only my friend when it meant something to her.  And I let this go on.  I would be heartbroken and cry when she would tell me we were not friends, then I would get so excited when she would come back to being my friend.  She was the only kid my age who I cared about.

It was through most of the year that Hugs played this game of being my friend or not.  Though she proved that she was no longer my friend one day when I was running.  I had a hiding spot to get away from the bullies that chased me.  I knew how to get into the hiding spot without them seeing me disappear. To get into my hiding spot, I would have to drop in mid run and roll into the spot.  I’d done this run many times.  Though on this day, when I was running to try and disappear into my hiding spot, I got near there and saw Hugs standing nearby.  I looked right at her, but knew I had to hide.  I hoped that my friend would not hurt me.  I dropped and rolled into my hiding spot.

I knew the kids were going to run around the corner any second, but what I didn’t know was what was going to happen this day.  Once they got there, Hugs looked to the kids as they ran around the corner and pointed to where I was hiding.  “She’s down there!” she yelled.  The kids were able to pull me out, and beat me up.  I had no escape, and the one person that I relied on the most in the school was the person to betray me.

After this, I knew she was really no longer my friend.  Hugs stood there and let the kids beat me up.  She did not try to stop them or get an adult.  She just stood by as I was hurt.  No friend would do that.  At that moment I knew even if she said she was my friend, she was not truly my friend.  I did not let her lies of being my friend get to me anymore, as I pulled away.  It was hard, because I like her family and she did live near me.  I did not seek revenge or hold hate towards her.  I just let the friendship go.  If I saw her, I would be nice and say hi, make a nice short talk and be on my way.

Friends are important in life, but if a friend is hurting you, if a friend will treat your friendship like a yo-yo, then they are not truly a friend.  This was my first lesson in pain from a friend, but it was not my last.  I will share two other stories here on Cowabunga Corner of friends who I let close to me and my family, who only to try to hurt me and my family.

Feel free to comment or ask questions below in the comment area.  All email addresses are kept private.